This post is dedicated to weird behaviour on gtalk. Some are funny, but some very irritating at times. Each type displays a different dimension to online behaviour; however, it should be noted that the vast majority of my contacts are "normal". It's ironic that I have to dedicate a whole post to a lame minority, but then exceptional behaviour warrants accolades, so here we go..
Type-1. A gtalk chat session is like a free session with a psychiatrist or psychologist, for this type. Does not ping or even waste a passing "hello.." unless they need some advice. Like I am some agony-aunt or wailing wall or something. For example: One guy apparently waits online to see my name popping up on his window. Before even the notifications for new mails wind up, I get a cheery "Hi!!". Trouble-time, tra la la la.. For him, a friend in need is only a friend in need. I particularly dread a "Hi!!" from this guy. Because that can only mean one thing - I'm going to be politely bored for the next half-hour. Never takes hints that I'm busy or bored. Seeks advice only on a specific topic, everytime. Girls. Yeah, right. As if I am this amazing love guru, here to help guys turn into chick-magnets. I'm surprised he still has his nose and eyes and ears in their God-decided positions, considering the amount of outrageous solutions I have given him. Either he doesn't follow them, or his face is cast in concrete. Well, if he doesn't follow my advice, why does he even bother to ask..
Type 2. The next kind observes the color of the status dot minutely and reacts violently if the color is red (something like an electronic bull, eh? Yeah that makes their eyes bulls-eye. Sorry, bad joke). Case in point: There's this guy whose only job(I think) is to sit around logged on to gtalk and maintain an excel sheet with the names and status-colors of all his unfortunate contacts. I have a contact who specialises in this domain. I'm guaranteed a ping from this guy if the color is red. "Hey, are you busy?" Is he color-blind or what.. That's it. No number of replies from me will elicit a reply from him. A few minutes later, his dot turns to grey. Or I temporarily turn color-blind.
Type 3. A close cousin of Type-2. Observes the color of the dot minutely. Reacts violently if the color is green. Example: I have this contact who remembers the recent status-colors of all his contacts. The rare day that I change my status to a relaxed state, I have a nice lil conversation with the man himself. "Hey how come ur not busy!!" I frankly don't have an answer to that one, but try typing, backspacing, re-typing, re-backspacing and re-re-typing a reply to him. I have more than my fair share of these contacts. A handful of them together online ensures that I'm busy when my status-color is green, and actually free when my status-color is red. After a few pings, I am forced to quickly change the color to red. This triggers Type-2 into activation.
Type 4. Monitors status messages closely for signs of non-conformance. Takes every status message personally and makes it a point to react. For instance: I once posted a witty status message about marriage and it's hardships(Yada yada). Tang! comes the ping. I endured half an hour listening to the sacrosanctity of the institution called marriage. Finally I had to to tell him that although I considered and respected marriage and married people very highly, I was not averse to something witty once in a while. The poor guy had taken my status message very personally, as if I had opened a chat window with him and addressed the message to him. He was newly married you see, and people were still not over teasing him. People, my status messages are just some witty one-liners I found on the net, or something I read off a t-shirt. Dil pe mat lo.
Type-5 is a pompous, showy kind. Does not ping usually. Very dignified, does not usually mingle with lowly simpletons like me. The ONLY reason Type-5 pings, is to show off. When Type-5 says "Hi.. you there?", I reach out for my sunglasses. Chatting with such bright personalities may blind me, atleast temporarily. If I'm there, yes, they would like to update me on some wonderful thing happening in their life. Yes, I'm very happy for you, but unfazed by your achievement. I long knew I was a failure, a burden to the earth. Any further questions on a different topic will evoke a terse "Sorry. gtg. Bye". Though the dots stay green for hours after they "gtg". They came just to "let me know", you see. Yeah, and please remember, Type-5s, every dog will have it's day under the sun(Hey come on, hope is not a dangerous thing).
All this being said, it should be noted that the vast majority of my contacts are close friends from school, college and work, and are very dear to me. They all have their own online behaviours, but do not fall into any of the categories above. Some say hi just to stay in touch, some smile and say nothing more, some just share a warm greeting, somebody always has a few words of inspiration for a rough day ahead. Friendly, supportive, jolly and funny - my friends are all that. Type 6.
Ciao.
2 comments:
ha ha ha.... i really enjoyed reading this one!!! Nice analysis about your contacts .. Wonder in which category i fall into.. ;) :P
@Divya: Thanks.. :) You are in Type-6, definitely!!
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